TUESDAY JANUARY 11, 2011

Read  Proverbs 24:14-20

The How To of Conflict Resolution.

The basic steps to conflict resolution are given to us in Matthew 18:15-17.

• If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.  But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Let me spell out the steps clearly and plainly.

Step 1.

If you feel that a brother or sister in Christ has sinned against  you in some way you are to first and foremost go to that person.  This is to be just between the two of you.

Please note the pitfalls of taking too long to do this step, if  you wait and brood, or think over the situation:-

• You may end up going to your brother/sister in anger and not in love as the anger and indignation wells up within you (Ephesians 4:26-27)


• You open up more opportunities for gossip and  slander to come out of your mouth. If you need  advice organise to meet one of the elders or the minister and talk with them.


• If that other person sins against you again before you have a chance to reconcile your anger will increase and ...who knows what you will do.


• The other person may genuinely be unaware that he is offending or sinning against you.

But if your brother or sister listens to you and the relationship is reconciled then you have won your brother/sister over. God has truly been glorified.

Step 2.

Let’s assume that the other person that wronged you won’t listen. What do you do?

Jesus tells us plainly in the Matthew 18 passage:-

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over,

But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'

You are to take one or two others along so that the matter may be resolved by the testimony or judgement of two or three others. But be warned. At this stage it would be very easy to stack the deck in your favour. You could easily choose 2 or 3 friends that

would support you no matter what. Then together you can shoot down the opposition in flames and walk off into the sunset with glorious, Yes glorious, victory. If you do this God will not be glorified. Rather choose godly men and women (elders of the church??) who can reflect on the situation and give godly, Scriptural counsel to you and the other party.

Again, if the matter is dealt with then offer your complete forgiveness to the other    person. You should resume an open and honest relationship with that person.

But what if he doesn’t listen, even to the mediators?

Step 3

Again, Jesus raises the possibility that this may happen. Look again at the Matthew 18 passage.

• If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

If there is no repentance from the sinning party then the whole church needs to know. The divisive person is to be warned by the church and then, if no repentance is seen, then he/she is to be asked to leave the church.

The premise of this harsh stance is simple. Divisions and factions and animosity will not be accepted by God in His church. Those who keep creating disunity should be removed. How does this work? When a person is asked to leave the church they miss the love and fellowship of the church, they miss the care and concern and the Christlike treatment they had received and they are drawn to repent of their sin(s) and to come back to God. You can read 2 Corinthians 2:1-11 carefully to see how Matthew 18 has been applied.

Prayer:-

• Pray that your church would be a church of reconciliation. Pray that individuals would be greatly concerned to glorify God by following Matthew 18. Pray that relationships will be restored where needed and that forgiveness would be offered.


• Pray that the Christians in North Korea would have many opportunities to share the love and forgiveness available through Christ Jesus.  Pray that the hidden and underground churches would grow immensely through their witness.