Can’t I just drop the matter and move on?
Resolving conflict is difficult and often tear jerking! It is painful but it is necessary. This alone makes a lot of people scared of conflict resolution.
When most people “drop” an issue they don’t offer full and unlimited forgiveness. They merely try to forget about it, or they busy themselves so much that they have no time to think about it. They store up the matter in their heart and eventually (after more repeated sins against them) explode or leave the church. This is sinful! The matter should have been dealt with at the very start.
What if I can forgive the person without approaching them?
We need to establish what our real authority is. The Bible says that if we feel sinned against or hurt by someone then we are to go to them to seek reconciliation. If God’s Word is my authority in life then I will seek to do as it says. There may be issues you choose to overlook (bad habits, annoying tendencies, for example) but these could not normally be classed as sinful.
What if reconciliation is not possible because, for example, the other person has died or moved abroad?
Reconciliation is exceedingly difficult with a dead person! However, if you harbour unforgiveness in your heart you will be the one who suffers. See the parable in Matthew 18:23-34 and note what Jesus says to the person who refuses to forgive in vs 35! Though it may be incredibly difficult, seek to forgive that person as quickly as you can and to let go of the bitterness and unforgiveness.
If the person has merely moved away then you can always ring them or send them an email. If possible get together face to face where you can work towards full reconciliation. There are very few inaccessible places left on our planet. You should be able to contact almost every person you need to.
Prayer:-
- Ask God to show you if there is someone you need to be reconciled with. Pray that doors will open for reconciliation and that God would be glorified as you obey Him.
- Ask God to allow the believers in Nigeria to preach the message of reconciliation powerfully and regularly. Pray that they continue to see the churches grow as many people put their faith and trust in Christ Jesus.
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