Read: Ecclesiastes 7:5-6. Proverbs 9:8, 19:25, 25:12, 29:1
The word “rebuke” no longer remains in many of our mental dictionaries. We have grown to hate the word because it pictures some self-inflated hypocrite pointing out something wrong with ourselves while he or she remains far from perfect.
When we are “rebuked” our initial reaction is to get defensive or offensive. We either make up excuses to justify ourselves so as to explain away the rebuke, or we go on the offensive and verbally attack the person bringing the rebuke. Listen to this statement very carefully. Neither defense nor offense in the face of rebuke is a godly option. God hates both of them.
So how should we deal with rebuke? Firstly, thank the person for their loving concern for you and your conduct. If it’s a Christian brother/sister bringing the rebuke, you need to realize that they love you enough and care enough to help you grow in godliness. That alone deserves thanks and praise. If the person bringing the rebuke is a non Christian they may have false motives but if they point out some ungodly or un-Jesus-like part of your character even that is positive because God is using this to grow you in holiness. Again you can genuinely thank them.
Thanking people sincerely for their rebuke disarms them and makes further conflict impossible. Most people psyche themselves up to bring a rebuke and are, more often than not, ready for a fight. They have loaded their mental guns with high caliber ammunition. They are ready for a fight. When you thank them sincerely you disarm them. You react in a way that is totally unexpected. By thanking them, you open the way for relationship not retaliation.
Secondly, you need to pray about the matter that was raised. Tell the person bringing the rebuke that you will definitely pray about the matter. If it is a huge matter you may need to indulge in prayer and fasting. Bring the matter to the Lord and ask Him to reveal to you whether this particular rebuke needs to be repented of, or if it is a non-issue. Unfortunately it’s very easy to listen to our own pride filled heart and to immediately think it’s their issue and not ours.
Thirdly, after concerted prayer and fasting, talk to a trusted mature friend and ask them if they see the issue within you. Again we can choose to talk with Yes-men/women who will simply echo what we want to hear. Choosing that option reveals the depth of our folly. Find a trusted and mature Christian who will speak the truth in love and listen intently to their counsel and advice.
Fourthly, having prayed and fasted and sought Christian counsel, decide on a path of action of repentance. Deal with the matter in the most Christian and biblical way you know how. It may be a small change or a large, long term plan of action.
Fifthly, return to the person who brought the rebuke and ask them to keep you accountable for making the changes you have decided on. Not only will you show that person how much you value them but you will grow that relationship even more in depth of quality. Strong bonds of love will be sewn through this approach.
The word “rebuke” should not conjure up negative images. It should communicate something like, ‘I want to help you grow in godliness and Jesus-likeness’. The truly wise man/woman can love the one who brings them rebuke. The fool reacts with hatred. By changing the way you think about rebuke, you can be that wise man or woman.
Prayer: Write down your prayer points in the space provided. Use today’s reading to help you get ideas.
Adoration:
Confession:
Thanks:
Supplication:
ª Pray for the Youth Leaders in your congregation. Pray that these men and women will be living lives that reflect the glory and holiness of Christ Jesus. Pray that their lives are so attractive that more and more youth come to Christ through them.
ª Pray for the children’s workers in your congregation. Ask God to give each one an understanding of the importance of their work. Pray that each of the workers will be able to communicate biblical truths clearly and that they will be able to relate to the kids in a way that encourages them to follow Jesus passionately.
My Additional Prayer Points
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1. How do you think Randolph would react if you lovingly rebuked him about his attitude and approach to life?
2. What are some unwise ways to deal with rebuke?
3. What are some wise ways to deal with rebuke?
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